Alright, alright, stuff has actually been happening and it's really time to report.

OLD NEWS:
1) I don't work at HMV anymore. Have I said that already? I'm not sure. Anyhow, job is gone. 'Twas the season for seasonal workers to be dismissed.

2) Kuri came and visited from New York for a week. We hung out with Crystal a lot. It was pretty rad, 'cause the three of us hadn't hung out together in a few years. Also, the Lesbians came and visited last weekend. We took cute sticker photos, but unfortunately my scanner doesn't work, so I'll have to wait and see if anyone else uploads them.

TRANSITION NEWS:
3) I've been on T for a year now! I do plan on making a T video at some point. Christ, I procrastinate the hell out of those, don't I?

4) I had my hysterectomy consultation last week. I don't think I'm gonna do it. I get pretty bad vibes from it all, and I feel like I would just end up feeling emptier rather than manlier. If I have to keep the F on my legal documents (which may or may not be the case), so be it.

THE REALLY SHITTY NEWS:
Oh man, you ready for this one? (The answer is no, by the way. I promise.)

Okay, so...right now there are two big Ts in our family. Mine is Testosterone. I lucked out.

5) My mom's big T is Terminal. Yep. Return Of The Cancer, Part 3: This Time It Means Business. The doctor guessed that she's got a year or two left, so she's been spending her time inhaling any vitamins, nutrients and positive energy she can get her hands on.

And you thought your day was shitty.


I've been handling it all in a very..."Oasis" kind of way, I suppose. I've seen better days, but I don't care, 'cause I'm too busy being an Amanda Palmer fanboy. Denydenydeny.

PS: If you want to send some positive energy our way, by any chance, I'm sure mom would be mighty appreciative.

Me, on the other hand...well, if you have any clues on Who Killed Amanda Palmer, pass 'em my way.

Wow, I didn't post a damn thing through all of October. That's weird. Well, I guess not really. Not a whole lot was going on around here. Highlights include me getting a job and a crush on a straight girl. (Female-bodied boy after ten months on T + heterosexual female = problematic? I'm not sure.)

Oh, and I'm 18 now! Woot woot!

( I do happen to have a few photos to share. )
Yep. That was my October. Actually, I lie. That first photo is from September and the last two were taken about half an hour ago. October was really not that exciting at all.

EDIT: Oops, I lied again! In October, That's What She Said was one of the finalists in the Reel Youth Film Festival, and screened at two theatres as part of the Vancouver International Film Festival! Woo! And what's even cooler is that one of the places it was screened was the Vancity Theatre, and after the films were shown, the filmmakers (myself included) went down to the front and answered audience questions.

Y'know what happened the first time I went to the Vancity Theatre? I saw John Cameron Mitchell talking about his film! I'm already following the footsteps of my favourite director! Eee!

Phew! I just uploaded EVERYTHING. Brace yourselves.

1)Okay, so first of all, I'd like to celebrate my household on owning 300 DVDs! Go us!

2) ( Prom/Grad photos! )

3) Movies!
I made movies, and you should watch them.


CANCER KILLER FILM
This one's about my mommy. I made it for the Sunset Video Festival, and I won! Well...I was the only one who submitted a film, but I still won! I threw this together in about four days, if that.


THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID (part 1)
This is My Big Film. I worked so hard on this one. Unfortunately, it's 15 minutes long in total, so I had to break it up into two parts.


THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID (part 2)

4) T Recs!
I actually uploaded ALL of my videos! I think that embedding them all would probably be too much for most computers, so I'm just going to put links to them all. That's right, all of them. Even the ones I posted already.

Pre-T!
1 week!
2 weeks!
3 weeks!
4 weeks!
5 weeks!
6 weeks!
7 weeks!
8 weeks!
9 weeks!
10 weeks!
11 weeks!
12 weeks!
13 weeks!
14 weeks!
15 weeks!
16 weeks!
17 weeks!
18 weeks!
19 weeks!
20 weeks!

If you don't want to watch each video individually, I do have this quick recap-type version where I basically say "Alright, so, this is me __ weeks on T" twenty times. No, seriously. I start off with "Alright, so," almost every single time.



That's all I've got for now!

I swear I will upload my videos again sometime soon. Jeez.

In the meantime, I have some ( Comparison photos! )

Yeah, that's all for now. Buuuut I'M DONE HIGH SCHOOL NOW BITCHES YEAH

My computer is kind of cooperating with me, so until I can get my firewire stuff ACTUALLY working, here are two videos I managed to snatch while it was working!





My nights have been full of nightmares lately. Lots and lots of them. This morning I was lucky enough to wake from my nightmares only to find a giant ant crawling around on my bed. Goddammit.

I haven't shaved my face in a while, so I figured I'd enhance my wee little hairs with mascara to show you guys what's growing without having absurd closeups that only show three hairs at a time. This is NOT how dark my hair actually is. These are also most definitely not intended to be flattering photos. XD However, I am also slipping in a couple of other (attractive) photos that Maura's taken of me lately, so that I can be seen in a different setting for once.

( Yay sleazy mustaches! )

I still can't post T videos, so I figured I'd post a few more photos instead.
( Just a couple. )
My film won an award, yo! It got "Best Performances" at some film festival consisting of a bunch of lower mainland high school films. If my computer really loved me, I could upload it and post it here. But what I WILL do is post some ads that the Youth Panel made to advertise Youth Week, with the help of Telus' lovely cameras and fancy editing suites. (The one that Maura and I worked on unfortunately didn't get posted because of a bunch of dumb dumb things, but we worked on that end montage-y bit with Maya and a Telus editor man.)





So, uh, Kayla-Sarah-Grace? Because we've hung out as a group about two or three times in the past year or so, I was thinkin' that maybe we could try to organize another themed movie night. 'Cause, like, I miss ya. Right now, I'm thinkin' greaser films. Rebel Without A Cause? Oh, I think so.

I don't remember if I made an entry about self-injecting. If not, then congrats to me, 'cause I injected all by myself a couple of weeks ago, and yesterday I got to stab myself in the comfort of my own home. I did it while recording one of my weekly videos, which, once uploaded, will be really cute. I'm pretty sad about not being able to upload them. It's good stuff. But in the meantime, I come bearing photos of my new INCREDIBLY pathetic beard-to-be!

( Not by the hairs of my chinny-chin-chin! )

So, um, VanTech's newest play opens next week. I'm not sure whether or not I'd suggest coming. I mean, it's cool, 'cause like, it's most of Twelfth Night. However, it's got dumb little acts between the scenes. They might be cool on their own, but mixed with Twelfth Night...it's dumb. And there's a group of choral speakers who represent the characters' thoughts sometimes. Um. But the acting parts aren't too bad. I'm in it. I play Orsino, and I'm the assistant director (translation: I direct the actual acted scenes, and then Ms. Orr gives her "artsy" input and makes the play...different). Don't come opening night. We've rehearsed the finale maybe three or four times in total so far. Oh, and as an extra bonus sneak peek of how special our drama department is, I'm going to type out our initial poster just for you, exactly as it's written! (We've gotten better ones since, but Ms. Orr decided to write some up and post them first without telling anybody.)

Van Tech's Theatre Program
presents our spring production of

OR WHAT YOU WILL
An adaptation of Shakespeare's Comedy Twelfth Night with a
multi-performance style
of
mask......dance.......percussion......choral.........
a song..............
a tear
and lots of laughs

Where:
The recently renovated Auditorium at Vancouver Technical
Secondary School. 2600 east broadway (front entrance)

When:
Evening shows Monday April 7, Tues 8th, Fri 11th, Wed 16 & Thurs 17 at
7:30pm
Matinees Mon 14th Tues 15th at 2pm

Tickets $7.00 at the door
Advance tickets for evening shows & matinees are $5.00 & will be available
for students at lunch. Teahers: please arrange with Ramona for a class rate
of $25.00 for the matinees, paid in advance.

The Play
Viola lives as a man and loves a man, who thinks she's a man but she is a
woman, but he loves Olivia and Olivia loves Viola..........In the end they all
love who they want and get love in return..........Viola even finds someone
she loves and didn't think she would ever see again........
This gender bender twist will take you on a journey of hidden
identities......Originally Shakespeare had no woman on stage, in our show
there are many.......see if you can tell who are the real woman and the real
men!

How someone can ignore spell check and the English language that hard, I don't know.

On a more positive note, I did my first self-injection last Friday! Now I can pump my body full of manjuice in the comfort of my own home!!

On an even MORE positive note, I'm almost done my latest film! I'm super proud of it because it's the first film I've really done all on my own. And, like, people are actually gonna see it. That's exciting. ^_^

I don't know how many of you know my cats personally, but Mama Cass (the tiny grey one) died a few hours ago. It came right the hell out of nowhere. I mean, she was around 15 years old, but she sure didn't seem like an old cat, and then she went and stopped drinking or something and let herself get really really really dehydrated. By the time we saw her and rushed her to the hospital, it would've cost up to $7000 to give her a small chance of survival. We had to put her down. She was almost totally still and could barely breathe until that injection got in her body. Once she felt it, she started howling and kicking and fighting it as hard as she could. It was really hard to watch. Maura happened to be visiting while this happened, and even she cried, even though she hardly even knew her.

We're going to bury her tomorrow. Right now she's sitting upstairs in a cardboard box. Weeird.

Um, on a lighter note, I was planning on making a very brief T-update earlier today, so I come bearing a couple of photos to show how things are comin'.

( Look on the bright side! )

I visited Micaila last weekend to catch up with her, and while I was there, we dug up some ol' photos she took of me a couple years ago. The quality kinda sucks for now 'cause I was scanning the contact sheet (a sheet of TINY preview photos) on a dusty scanner, then tried to touch them up with ancient, Windows '98 compatible programs.

( Woo, stupid-type binding! )

This is me pretending that my body's all different now that I've started T.

Thursday's post about my T injection was a little frazzled, so I figured I would come back and actually add some extra photos n' stuff. There are photos of needles, but no photos of needles entering and/or inside anyone's skin.

( Looklooklook! )
EDIT:
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now,(even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELYMADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want- good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post thislittle paragraph in your journal and be surprised (or mortified) aboutwhat people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

I got it! I got it!

Here, have a sneak peek into my appointment!

It's my last day pre-T, yo! Well, hopefully. But I really think it is! Gah!

Throughout my journey through T-dom, I'm going to be making short videos every now and then just to document how my face and voice are changing. Here's the first one.

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD.

So, like, I'm pretty fucking sure I'm starting my testosterone treatment next Thursday, guys!! I went to my therapy session last week, aaand my therapist said she'd write up my report for Dr. Metzer, aaand when I asked her if I should book an appointment she said yes, aaand then I did and it's for 9:00am on January 31st! OH MAH GAAAAWD!

There's a chance, of course, that my therapist is totally swamped with work and will not be able to send my report in time for that, and so my appointment will have to be postponed, but that seems unlikely because her top priority is to help people like myself, and she mentioned that this could happen when she said I could book my appointment.

Eeeeeeee omgggg! I need to have my T party soon, you guys! Aaahhhh!!!

My brain is really exhausted, so I'm taking a quick thinking break.

TO-DO LIST FOR THIS WEEK:
-lead portfolio protest with Shawn and get footage for a documentary about it
-complete portfolio
-finalize script for school play, including what the mask, chorus and percussion groups will be doing
-attempt to pass hormone readiness assessment during therapy tomorrow
-actually attend a youth panel meeting
-massive amounts of homework
-work on script for my CPTV project

Busybusybusy.

EDIT: Oh, and I quit my job! Yay!

Wow, have I ever been getting a lot of surveys filled out! I have 25 so far, and I'm having so much fun reading them. Thanks, everyone!

Christmas was pretty quiet this year, as I celebrated it with only mom this year (I'm used to the house having at least four people in it every year). Quiet as it may have been, I got me a couple bitchin' presents.

(Just so you know, one of the two presents I'm about to show off is one my my new binders, which just so happens to be shaped like a sports bra. Therefore, if you do not want to see any naked flesh in the general tummy area, this may just be TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE.)

( ZOMG PRESENTS! )

Maura keeps telling me to update my LJ. I suppose it is time, isn't it? Well, let's cover the basic topics then.

Transition: I had my first therapy appointment with Dr. Preece on that day that I think was Tuesday. Wednesday? Nope, calendar says Tuesday. She's a nice lady, and probably my favourite therapist thus far, which is good, because she's the Important One in the Vancouver trans universe. I've been invited to join her group session thing on the 23rd, and while I usually don't like attending the groups, she's going on vacation, and I'd like to get more therapy underway sooner than later. Plus, it's going to be a Christmas party where only her trans clients are attending, and I just think that's the cutest shit ever.

School: AUGH! AND AUGH! To be honest, most schooling is not that bad. Ms. Cozma is no longer teaching my English class, so things will theoretically get more comprehensive now. Other classes are good as well. However, Ms. Orr has made me the assistant director for the BIG PLAY this year, so the stress is on 'til March. Plus I'm trying to get a video project underway for CPTV, and I tried to film on Friday, but EVERYTHING WENT WRONG. EVERYTHING. Except for Oliver, because he is an amazing actor who actually takes the time to learn his lines and do things I ask him to do. Much love to him.

Relationship: Um, amazing all over the place. Giddy giddy gush mushy gross stuff you don't care about. I try to put it all down in my actual journal with paper so that you aren't all subjected to it.

Current Inspiration: My Penis and Everyone Else's. I just watched this documentary about an hour ago, and it totally made my life. Now I want to talk to everyone about sex and genitals and all that good stuff. If anyone wants to talk, give me a shout!
(Be careful when watching that documentary, by the way. It's cute and all, but it does have explicit surgery footage from a penis enlargement procedure. >__<)

Christmas Shopping: Not so good, guys! I'm totally taking advantage of the fact that I probably won't be seeing most of you before Christmas, because I totally don't have much shopping/thinking time on my hands. Fuck, I totally could've gotten that present I figured out after work today. Oops.

Work: I really don't want to work anymore. I mean, Chapters is great and all, but it toootally drains my entire being. Augh. Is it bad to hope I get fired after Christmas?

Dreams: Okay, last night's dreams totally sucked! First I had a dream where I found out in therapy that I was sexually abused as a child, then I had a dream where I got in trouble at work, and then I had a dream where this crazy old lady was abusing a puppy. Like...come ON. That's just unnecessary.

Props: Kayla, your tea party rocked my world. I want more cucumber sandwiches, but alas, I have none.

Cool Purchases: Um, guess who bought Don Quixote and The Complete Works of Lewis Carroll with his Chapters discount? Oh, I do believe it was me! Oh, and I have new contacts! Yay!

I think that's about it. Oh, and for bonus transition points, I asked all of my teachers to use male pronouns and I wrote my formal coming-out-as-trans note on Facebook, so I'm pretty damn close to living as a dude, dude!