"There's nothing sadder than a cancer survivor who dies of cancer."
Now see here, Life. You've been good to me for quite some time, but I don't think it's fair of you to suddenly pull the rug out from under my feet and shower my household with so much misfortune at once. If you have a problem with me, please do the mature thing and just talk to me about it.

Alright, so what's on the agenda for today's worries in the ex-BlueBooth home?
1) Jamie may be gone for good, but MAYBE NOT! Who freaking knows? He says he's getting an apartment, but considering the fact that he was SURPRISED to hear that he's not moving back in if he buys his own place, I'm not too sure how thought-out this plan is. Plus the man never has time to come take his stuff, so it might take some time. We need his shit outta here so that we can move a student or someone into the upstairs bedroom, because:
2) We haven't got any money! I mean, we technically do, and my parents have never made more money than they are right now, but now our financial situation is so up in the air, and Dad's gonna need money to move out, and Mom's gonna need money to keep a three-level house going, and so on and so forth. But Mom's pretty stressed out right now, what with the recent split and the even newer discovery:
3) There's a lump in me momma's breast! It hasn't been tested yet, so it may not be cancer. But it might be. My mom already HAD cancer. Twice is seriously fucking pushing it. And how bad will I fucking feel if my mom has to get her boobs chopped off while I'm hacking mine off voluntarily because:
4) I want to be a boy! Yes, this is old news by now, but it's still pretty concerning to me on a daily basis! Plus it looked like I could start my hormone therapy pretty soon, but no! Now it seems to be that I may have to go through an additional three months or so of potentially expensive therapy before being recommended to an endocrinologist who will finally give me my damn prescription for testosterone. YAY I LOVE WAITING. IT'S MY FAVOURITE. This whole transgender issue was really bugging me about an hour ago, too, because:
4b) My birth father still doesn't know that I want to be a boy! I know that I should tell him, but I really don't want to because I know he'll feel hella guilty for not being here for me, and he'll try to involve himself more than I want him to be involved, and he'll feel responsible for being one of the primary male influences in my life, and I'm worried that he (and others) might think that I'm just doing it because nearly every male figure in my mother's life has abandoned her in one way or another, and I just want to be the one who actually stays around. It's a really fucking twisted situation, and it really hit me all of a sudden earlier today while he was talking about all the opportunities available now for women who make films (such as myself, in his eyes), and I wasn't expecting it to hit me so hard so quickly, and so:
5) I accidentally freaked out on Brianne today! I didn't mean to, but I was feeling really weak emotionally because of my conversation with Karl, and I felt too vulnerable for the playful teasing she was doing in my conversation with her, and suddenly I just lost it and hella guilt tripped her out of nowhere for not taking my issues seriously. I wasn't even thinking about how that might make her feel, and I think I might've really upset her. It so much wasn't her fault, and I was playfully teasing back until then, so there was no way she could've known that I was actually seriously hurt at the time. She left for bed before I got a chance to apologize properly.

I hope she's okay.

...I hope we're all going to be okay.